With trending pictures of people celebrating divorce on the internet, the delectable Vicky Bon Edikan, a serial entrepreneur and story telling author has taken to her Facebook page to answer the unending question on the minds of a lot of folks – “why would anybody celebrate divorce? ” Hear her:
“Why are people celebrating divorce?”
Because bad marriage is horrible and can cause untimely death.
I used ‘people’ because, my male friend celebrated his divorce last year August. I just got off the phone with him and after that long talk, I sighed deeply. It took me back to by this time last year.
Nobody, absolutely nobody gets married to anyone to be divorced later. Nobody goes into marriage to test what it feels like for a while and then leave later. I haven’t seen such a person.
People leave marriages for same reasons some people endure. This is to show you that not everyone will take same shits others take.
I used to have this mindset of ‘people can always stay and make their marriage work’ until I lost a friend to a bad marriage some years back.
She always said she was going to leave, but never left.
Many things killed her.
You know, when people hear, ‘abuse’ they think it’s about beating your partner and kicking and pushing and causing injuries. That’s the lighter part of it.
Verbal abuse can traumatize a human being to depression.
A husband once said to his wife, ‘Look at how you stink like a goat. In your family, your siblings are prostitutes and are unmarried.’
She left that marriage the next day.
Everyone thought she was stupid. Her friends told her, ‘but my husband says even worse things to me. That is marriage for you o.’ And she moved on, because she can’t take that.
70% of Nigerian women and men are depressed because of bad marriages.
And it is stupid to think that women will come on social media and just say what happens to them on a daily basis in their homes.
Last week, a man celebrated his divorce. He said he was married to a witch, and everyone hahaha….
You don’t get. You don’t just get the heavy burden that got off his head.
A man marries a working class woman. A month after wedding, he tells her to stay at home and get pregnant. He tells her, ‘I own you now.’ He gives her peanuts for upkeep. He wants her to be a mother and a wife. And that’s all that matters to him.
Now, there are women who simply want to be wives and mothers. They want to stay at home and not work. They are everywhere, finding the above reasons for divorce quite shocking. There is nothing wrong in making your decisions, whatever you wanna be, let it be that you want to be that.
Some women and men pretend so much, and that is why many things unveils after marriage and you will hear things like, ‘you didn’t say I will leave my job after our wedding. You didn’t say I will stop travelling for business after our wedding…’ Then she insists on not dumping her dreams, and you will hear ‘submission’.
Women have their lives outside marriage.
Balancing a career and a home is tough. Yet, some of us strive hard to do so.
There is a woman I know whose husband gave her AIDS. She knew he was doing things outside, but thought he would change after she reports to her pastor. He got worse by the day. When her mother told her to come home, she was afraid people might start talking. She had no money, not a dime of her own. He ended up infecting her. And you know what she said, she can’t leave because she has gotten it already. So she stayed with the man and died.
I have seen women who leave marriages because their husbands infected them with STDs.
I have seen the ones who take it to the lord in prayer and it is never ever always sorted out. If a man isn’t willing to change, if a woman isn’t willing to change, and they don’t have the holy spirit in them, forget it. God doesn’t arrest just anybody.
My friend’s ex used to drag all the women around him. Including his own mom. They divorced and there was peace.
People are going through hell in their homes. If you married the love of life, thank God and stop judging people’s decisions.
When my Lawyer friend is ‘gisting’ me about divorce issues and reasons, I just wonder!
You can make every other mistake in life. But you see the mistake of a life partner, it can mar you.
If you are one of the humans who laugh at divorcees, who mock people because you think they can’t keep their homes, I want to let you know that in this new century, the new African woman cannot take the nonsense you take.
Leave people to celebrate the end of bad marriages. Live your life, and if you are single, you should always pray to God for the man/woman you want. The right time to begin a happy home begins when you are single.
Tell God, ‘God, my husband won’t be an infidel, my husband won’t be poor, abusive, have anger issues. I want a wife who will be this to me, a supportive wife who blablabla…”
And when God gives you signs, run as far as you can. It is easy to leave a horrible relationship. But you see a horrible marriage?
It is easy to dodge a hole, than to jump out of it. A bad marriage is a deep hole.
When you begin your first step with God, he follows you all the way!